DAY 44: GUYS, I'M BEING TOTALLY SERIAL

Last night was the first time since I arrived in Durban that I felt like I hadn't made a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible mistake moving here. I think things are starting to sort themselves out in this head of mine.

I have finally fallen in love with the brands I am working on and am starting to see how much potential they have. I want to be part of giving them a real sense of humour and quirkiness. I just want to turn my brands into something beautiful. Shit. Balls. I'm starting to sound like Posh Spice in a consultation with her plastic surgeon. But guys, I'm being totally serial. It's half man, half bear, half pig. It's, it's a,a,a....A MAN-BEAR-PIG! I digress.

Besides things looking up with the work attitude, people are slowly starting to warm to me. Just the other day the security guard at the front gates of TBWA actually greeted me, even though I tried to run him over with my car. And this morning my new crack dealer gave me twenty bucks off a rock. Just kidding, T. Brown. I digress.

One of the dumbest things I have done in Durban since I arrived is take on the challenge of learning how to surf. My incredible ability to drown in 2 feet of water and my distinct lack of melanin are both sure signs that I was not made to frolic in the ocean.

Other signs include: A general fear of water, being a chicken shit, an imagination that keeps making me think a giant squid tentacle has brushed past my leg, and looking incredibly stupid in a wetsuit. Thank God my surfing instructor is The Surf Yoda, otherwise I think I would have thrown in the towel ages ago. 

Surf Yoda: Take this next wave, you must. Hmmmmmm.

R. Brown: Are you insane? NO. It's too big.

Surf Yoda: Be afraid you must not, you one with the wave must be.

R. Brown: No Fucking way.

Surf Yoda: Coming, the wave is. Yesssssss.

R. Brown: I can see that!

Surf Yoda: Most likely smash into a million pieces against the bottom of the ocean your head will, if you take not this next wave. Herh, herh, herh. 

R. Brown: Yes. I can fucking see that.

Surf Yoda: Hmmmmm. Yesssssss.

(wave attacks me and dumps the board on top of my head, before depositing me on the shore where I proceed to throw up salt water and coffee.) 

Surf Yoda: Ha, ha, ha. Funny, that was. Yesssssss.