I take a drive up to The Fathers house this weekend unannounced, in hope of scoring a free lunch. But The Father and The Sproglett had gone out, leaving me alone in the lounge with The New Thai Wife as I awkwardly clutch a cup of tea:
R. Brown: So, how have you been?
New Thai Wife: YAAABADA GA ASSHOWL!
R. Brown: Yes, it is lovely weather we are having. I think Spring has finally arrived.
New Thai Wife: NO! NO! YAAABADA GA ASSHOWL!
R.Brown: I’m sorry…I didn’t quite catch that…
New Thai Wife Points to a picture of The Father hanging on a wall: YAAABADA!
R.Brown: Oh, you mean MY FATHER… What about him?
New Thai Wife: HE ASSSS-HOWL!
R.Brown: Oh dear.
The New Thai Wife storms off into the kitchen and proceeds to slam dishes around. I guess that means no free lunch. Balls. I leave, mumbling something about emergency appendicitis.
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